Wild Turkey Chase
by Exotos135
Summary: For Thanksgiving, Ronnie Anne and Clyde join forces to catch a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner.


At the Santiago Household, Ronnie slept in her bedroom when she heard somebody open the door. This woke her up and made her go down and investigate. However, she soon saw there was nothing to worry about: Just Bobby welcoming and Clyde and his dads into the house and-

Wait, Clyde and his dads?!

"Roberto Alejandro Martinez-Millan Luis "Bobby" Santiago, Jr.!" Ronnie exclaimed, catching everybody's attention. "What is the meaning of this?!"

"Oh, good evening, Ronnie!" Bobby replied as the McBrides went in. "Listen, yesterday, on mom and dad's behalf, I struck a deal with the McBrides to come to our house and have a shared family thanksgiving dinner."

"But you never told me they were coming!" Ronnie whined, stomping the ground.

"Oh come on, Ronnie, what's the problem?" Clyde asked. "Is it me? My dads?"

"Your dads are not the problem, and neither are you, Clyde," Ronnie crossed her arms and put on a pouty face. "The problem, is that my stupid older brother here, decided to wait until the last minute to tell me about this shared family dinner!"

And then she realized something: "Speaking of which, why are you here so early?"

"Well, my dads thought they could help around the household, make the dinner, and so on and so forth," Clyde explained.

A couple seconds later, Ronnie followed with, "Okay Clyde, give me a second to put on my proper clothes."

"Why?" the boy asked.

"Because the Santiago family has a long list of traditions, and among them is the tradition to help with the household every holiday," Ronnie dramatically answered. "If a Santiago were to reject this sacred tradition, they would be shamed for it, guilt-tripped into remembering to follow the tradition next time or pay the consequences!"

Clyde wasn't fooled.

"That and I feel bad I didn't prepare for your visit."

"Well, okay then, but where are we going?" Clyde asked.

 _A couple minutes later..._

Ronnie charged up a spear and some guns while wearing a brown jacket over her normal clothes. She was also wearing sunglasses.

"We're going to go catch some turkeys!" the girl said in a cockney accent.

"Did you seriously have to make me wait until you were ready to answer me?" Clyde asked.

"It's more dramatic that way," Ronnie replied in her normal voice. "Now come on, we have some turkeys to capture, murder, cook, and devour!"

"You realize you're making it sound terrible, right?"

But Ronnie just grabbed Clyde's hand and dragged him outside while shouting, "Bobby, Clyde and I are going to hunt some turkeys!"

And by the time they were gone, Bobby could only ask, "Did you guys hear something?"

 _Later, at the Turkey Fields..._

Ronnie and Clyde hid inside a bush, with Ronnie looking at a wild turkey with a devious look. "Okay, Clyde, this is the plan: You stay here and watch me do all the work!" Ronnie told the boy before jumping out of hiding.

And as Clyde watched Ronnie sneak towards the bird, he couldn't help but feel this wouldn't end well.

In the middle of her sneaking, Ronnie stopped, turned towards the readers and shushed them with, "Be quiet, don't twy to scawe the tuwkey!" followed by a simpleton laugh.

And then, once she got close enough to the turkey, she got up, aimed her gun... then promptly used it as a club and repeatedly tried to smack the bird until it flew away. By then, she and Clyde saw it fly away, with Clyde in particular looking completely flabbergasted-

"Well, that went better than expected," Ronnie remarked with a smile.

"What?! In what sort of stupid logic would that count as going right?!" Clyde complained.

"Because close to here is a hill with a rock at the top, and some food on a marked spot on the ground," Ronnie explained as she and Clyde walked to that specific hill. "And while the turkey is too stupid enough to eat the food, the rock will be pushed off the hill, and crash the stupid little bird!"

But soon, Clyde pointed out the plan's fatal flaw: "Who's going to push the rock, though?"

Ronnie immediately realized the flaw and ran up to the top of the hill in an instant, wherein she gently pushed the rock off the hill before running back to where she started. And as she caught her breath, Ronnie asked Clyde, "So, is the turkey dead yet?"

"Actually, the turkey's over there," Clyde pointed at a similarly marked spot, where the turkey was eating food.

But just as she realized what that meant, the rock fell on top of Ronnie, with the turkey flying away soon afterwards. Clyde, surprisingly enough, managed to push the rock away and helped the injured Ronnie stand up.

"Ronnie, are you okay?!" Clyde inquired, sounding genuinely worried.

"Clyde, the rock has given me an idea!" Ronnie raised her fist victoriously... before falling on the floor again. "And pain. Lots of pain."

 _Second attempt..._

At the tall hill right next to the other one, Ronnie-now wearing a bandage on her head-and Clyde rolled a large rock. "Ronnie, this is the exact same plan you used before!" Clyde voice once the duo put the rock in place. "That last plan failed, so this one is bound to fail as well!"

"No, the last plan failed because that rock was hispanically intolerant," Ronnie argued. "but this rock is perfectly fine, so there's no way that this is going to fail! Besides, that turkey has been eating for a while now."

And so, the duo pushed the rock off the top and ran back down to the beginning, wherein they reached the marked spot... and saw the turkey had gone to the other marked spot. And just as Clyde cursed, the rock fell on top of him, followed by Ronnie laughing at his misfortune before another rock fell on top of her.

 _Third attempt..._

For the final attempt, Clyde voiced his concerns and rubbed his forehead while Ronnie hid in the bushes. "Ronnie, this is crazy, and you know it!"

"Oh come on, Clyde, don't be such a downer," the girl replied. "You know what they say: third time's the charm!"

"But this?"

Ronnie came out of the bushes wearing a turkey outfit. More specifically, a female turkey outfit. "Ronnie, are you really so desperate that you will try to flirt with the turkeys?" Clyde asked, earning a nod from Ronnie. "I mean, seeing as some of their females-"

"Oh please, their females in general are pretty plain and unremarkable, I'm probably going to be eye candy to them!" Ronnie replied. "Now watch as I work my magic!"

Ronnie stood her ground, started to imitiate a turkey's behavior and then approached the turkeys as Clyde couldn't help but think, _"This is going to end badly."_

However, once Ronnie joined the group of turkeys, they reacted... with indifference. Almost as if even they were incredibly baffled by the sight. However, Ronnie didn't stop right there, she continued to flirt with the birds, who soon tried to get away from her.

"Ronnie, I don't think this is working!" Clyde exclaimed.

"Stop being a downer and get ready to capture them!" Ronnie barked.

And once the girl went forward to the turkey and tried to get the turkey's attention, they all attacked her relentlessly before flying away in fear.

 _Okay, enough of that..._

Ronnie and Clyde returned to the Santiago household and sat on the couch, with Ronnie clearly being upset about their failure. "I'm so sorry, Clyde," the tomboy said. "First I couldn't prepare for your visit, and now I couldn't even help you get a turkey for dinner."

"Don't worry, I'm sure your brother and my dads will find a way to work with what they got," Clyde answered, placing a hand on Ronnie's shoulder.

And then, once the duo had rested long enough, they went to the kitchen to check up on their family members... and saw a turkey dinner on the table. "Where did the turkey come from?" Ronnie inquired.

"Oh, it's the turkey Clyde's fathers and I cooked," Bobby nonchalantly answered.

"You mean to tell us you cooked a turkey while we were out looking to capture our own turkeys?!" Clyde and Ronnie exclaimed in unison.

Bobby blinked twice and asked, "You went out to hunt turkeys?"

Ronnie and Clyde promptly collapsed.


End file.
